>An aspect of my crochet MO that I don’t readily discuss is procrastination. I tell myself that when I’m put under serious pressure I will surely rise to the occasion and perform better than I would if given all the time in the world. Yeah, right.

Not being ready for an event is what I do best. Take the TNNA (The National NeedleArts Association) industry show this week in Columbus, Ohio. TNNA has become THE place for designers to network (i.e. hang out, spend way too much time at the hotel bar), load up on freebies like yarn and tools, and mostly show off their crochet wearables by parading around in them. I had my little heart set on crocheting my own China Doll (see earlier post) to wear. It’s ready. I am not ready to wear it. I will never be ready. I coulda been ready twenty years ago.

My Doll is quite lovely. She is made in the Filatura Di Crosa “Brillante” that I begged from Tahki Stacy Charles for the occasion. A Happy Lucky Chinese red. What other color is there?

Here she is, photographed on my petite dummy, who isn’t quite up to the gig. Let’s not mince words. The dummy is flat-chested. But, how serendipitous! This presents an illustration of what not to do.

I worked some short-row bust shaping for myself, which I actually take up with side bra-line and back flesh, know what I’m saying? But if you examine the bottom of this image, you’ll notice that the front is hanging too long on the dummy. That’s what happens when you make bust shaping and you don’t need it. What you don’t take up in width, you will invariably gain in length.

Now, here’s the thing. I’ve been asked to do an interview and demonstration segment for Knitting Daily TV while I’m at TNNA. KDTV is produced by Interweave; my segment sponsor is Tahki Stacy Charles. I thought it would be appropriate to be wearing on camera something I designed for Interweave Crochet made in TSC yarn, ties together kinda neat, huh? So I volunteered to appear in my personal China Doll.

So I got a memo from the segment producer concerning wardrobe:

Final thoughts on wardrobe: Avoid wearing BLACK, WHITE and RED. WHITE IS NEVER OKAY, not even as a tank, because it washes you out on camera. Bright colors and jewel tones look best. Black and red can be worn in conjunction with other colors: i.e. a black tank with an overblouse or jacket of another color or print. It is advisable to avoid large floral or geometric prints. Also avoid tiny stripes, polka dots or checks as they have a tendency to “dance” on screen. Outfits must accommodate microphones, so a front opening of some kind is desirable. No turtlenecks. Long or ¾ length sleeves look best. Short sleeves and sleeveless do not look flattering on camera. Also avoid heavy or warm clothing, but this is a knitting show and sweaters and vests are always good. Please bring at least one back-up outfit in the event that something planned is inappropriate. There is not a dressing area (although we are close to a restroom) so please arrive dressed.

YIKES! My Doll is not only the wrong color but also has no real front opening and fracking short sleeves. Now I have to come up with a PLAN B, in case my Doll gets vetoed. Panic is setting in. What I do between now and Saturday is what separates the pikers from the pros.

Somebody just shoot me.