***The following, although promising at the start, quickly devolves into a non-crochet, totally smug and self-indulgent trivial pursuit, and is a strictly temporary aberration. Meaty crochet stuff should continue to appear here in future, unless I decide otherwise.***
Avid crocheters may have experienced the Zen of crochet. This is the state of mind, or lack of mind, often a place of blissful calm, that you can achieve once you stop thinking about your crochet and just do it. When the physical work being done by your hands, the rhythmically repetitive action of creating row upon row of crochet stitches, becomes smooth, hypnotic, automatic, your higher brain functions are freed up to think about other things, to dream, to foster creativity…. and to watch TV.
I am at a peculiar stage of my current crochet project where I’m doing the same thing over and over to the point where it’s not terribly interesting. To help me through this mind-numbing task I have been catching up with some of my favorite programs and films, stuff I’ve possibly viewed before but don’t recall in detail, stuff I missed, vintage stuff I’ve finally been able to find. Through the miracle of modern technology (downloading and streaming) I can now wallow in programming that was previously unobtainable. I wish I could report that my recent viewing has been high-brow, intellectually stimulating, uplifting, enlightening. Not. My taste runs to terminally geeky, sci-fi and fantasy shows, the sort of fare obsessed over by the guys on The Big Bang Theory.
To those detractors who are quick to label my shows as stupid, time-wasting, time-sucking vices, let me say I have no defense. Geeky fan-girl that I am, I just love this stuff. From the Star-cana major, the seminal star-triumvirate of Star Wars, Star Trek and StarGate, to the British import Doctor Who (classic and new series) and it’s darker spin-off Torchwood, to the deeper cuts, the cult programs from Farscape to Firefly, Babylon 5 to Blakes 7, I geek-speak them all. Do you?
Here’s a little pop-quiz to check your geek. The points, although nice to score, mean nothing. No fair web-searching. Either you’ve been there… or you’re about to run screaming from this page.
#1 We’ll start off easy. Give yourself five points for each of these alien species you can identify by their respective works of science fiction/fantasy:
a) Ferengi; b) Foamasi; c) Nebari; d) Minbari
Add 10 points if you know which species lives by the Rules of Acquisition.
50 bonus points if you can quote any one of the rules (of which there are 285).
#2 Give yourself 10 points for each of these villains or seriously unpleasant characters by their respective yadda yadda:
a) Scorpius; b) Boba Fett; c) Davros; d) Servalan; e) Adria
#3 Score 10 points for each of these space-faring ships you can identify by their respective yaddayadda:
a) Heart of Gold; b) Moya; c) Liberator; d) Protector; e) Excalibur; f) Serenity
#4 Gain 15 points for each of these destinations, planetary or otherwise you can yaddayadda:
a) Chulak; b) Coruscant; c) Cygnus Alpha; d) Bajor; e) Delvia; f) Raxacoricofallapatorius;
#5 Gain 15 points for each of these geek-tech devices you can yaddayadda:
a) Sonic screwdriver, b) Zat; c) DRD; d) infinite improbability drive; e) vortex manipulator; f) Orac
#6 Score 15 points for each of these substances yaddayadda:
a) naquadah; b) spice/melange; c) shakan oil; d) latinum; e) retcon; f) pangalacticgargleblaster
Add 25 points if you know which comes from tannot root.
#7 Rack up 20 points for each of these phrases, terms or refs yaddayadda:
a) qapla; b) klaatu barada nicto; c) wibbly wobbly timey wimey; d) hezmana; e) never give up, never surrender!
#8 Dig a little deeper and score 25 points for each of these alien species yaddayadda:
a) Talosians; b) Toclafane; c) Tok’ra; d) Tollan
Add 25 points if you know which one is actually us.
#9 Dig a lot deeper and score 42 points for each of these alien species yaddayadda:
a) Vogans; b) Vogons; c) Vorgons; d) Vorlons; e) Vorlians
50 bonus points if you know which has the worst poetry.
#10 Trick Question: Do you remember the Silence?
Give yourself 5 points if your answer is yes.
Give yourself 50 points if your answer is no because you realize that nobody can remember the Silence.
#11 Score a whopping 100 points if you own or have considered owning any of the following:
a) any model of USS Enterprise, any generation; b) a dematerializing TARDIS mug; c) a light saber, or better two light sabers; d) a Borg cube Christmas tree ornament; e) the full technical specs for any space ship or other vehicle or orbiting station; f) a Klingon dictionary
#12 Check your T-shirt. If any geeky logo or phrase is emblazoned across your chest right this very moment, give yourself a a bazillion points, for example:
a) Keep Calm and Don’t Blink; b) Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal; c) May fortune guide your journey; d) Resistance is futile; e) Exterminate!; f) rock-paper-scissor-lizard-spock
Congratulations for making it to the end of this little exercise. Check your geek. If you have scored zero points, please come back to this blog at such time when I am not geeking out and you will be more entertained by future crochet talk. If you have scored any points at all, then welcome and thanks for all the fish. If you have scored, like, a million thousand points then you win and we are on the same page. And, I realize this is a futile gesture, but I am advising everyone to please refrain from posting comments that contain clues or answers. SPOILERS!