>Up to the day Mary Beth Temple first proposed this gig to me, cruising, in my mind, referred to what they did in “American Graffiti”. Hot rides, top down, see-and-be-seen, meet you at the drive-in and make mine a root beer float, please. Alternately, “Cruisin‘” is the 1979 Motown hit from Smokey Robinson, a sweet and sultry rhythm tune that celebrates neither cars nor boats but alludes to something else completely different. I now must seriously ponder the ocean-going meaning of the term.

Because when Mary Beth Temple says “jump” you say “how high, m’am“! MBT, author, designer/publisher of her own pattern line Hooked for Life, major nudge, alpaca addict and queen bee of the BlogTalk radio program Getting Loopy, hatched this jolly holiday along with her co-hort Mary Auger of Lace Wings Cruising. The plan is to gather a sympatico clutch of crocheters, lure them aboard a ship with promises of yarn, wine and tempting crochet classes, and set sail on the North Atlantic for 6 days/5 nights of cruising fun July 4-9. I am a bit fuzzy about how I got talked into it, but knowing MBT, it’s likely that she did all the talking.

I heard this line tonight on an episode of The Closer, said about the Kyra Sedgewick character but perfectly descriptive of MBT. When you’re a hammer, the rest of the world looks like nails. Basically she pounded and smashed to bits all my doubts and hesitations.

I never take vacations. What little free time I can scrounge up is spent wishing I had some designing to do.

“Oh, it’s only for a few days, Doris. Surely you can get away for a few days.”

I’ve never been out at sea, out of sight of land. What if I get, you know, sea sick?

“Oh, it’s a big ship, Doris. You won’t even know you’re out there, don’t worry.”

I don’t dream of summer idylls filled with sun and sand; I much prefer cold and indoors. Frack, it has been so long since I squeezed myself into my swimsuit that the elastic has certainly perished.

“Well, yes, it’ll be summer, but we’re going north, Doris, to New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, wild rocky coastlines, scenic splendor, cooler air, plenty of stuff to do and you won’t have to go outside or put on a swimsuit unless you want to.”

That she-devil continued to pour honey in my ear. She promised we’d have a sponsor, Universal Yarns.

“Hmmm, yarn”, I mused.

She mentioned there would be an exclusive meet-and-greet cocktail party.

“Really? Wine?”, I murmured.

She hinted at the amenities and pleasures aboard a cruise ship and the 24/7 room service with no dishes to do and no housework for nearly a week.

“Now you speaka my language”. It all sounded so cool. There had to be a catch. As I was wondering what my responsibilities would be, MBT assured me it would be a breeze.

“Well, you will serve as co-host with me, make nice with the crochet guests, maybe sign books, hang out at the bar.” And then she dropped the bomb. “Oh, and of course you’ll be teaching.”

I was hoping I said no, was totally sure I said no, but I actually said yes. And I am keen to admit that I have gotten used to the whole idea of me, for the first time on a ship…. teaching crochet… and I am totally psyched. What the heck, I have five months to go swimsuit shopping. So please check out all the details of our cruise (reduced prices just announced) and join us if you dare. And someone please help me kick the Love Boat theme song out of my head.