I don’t much care for rules. These are more like… guidelines. Some of the following admonitions are personal and apply only to my own crochet designing (#25 in particular), but most may be generalized.
I ignore #2, #7 and #11 all the time and as a result I end up breaking #5.
In no particular order of importance, here’s a rundown of Doris’ Crochet Caveats:
Rule #1: No time spent crocheting is ever wasted.
Rule #2: Keep track of your markers.
Rule #3: That’s not a mistake, that’s a design element.
Rule #4: There’s no such thing as too much yarn.
Rule #5: There’s no crying in crochet.
Rule #6: Never start a project without at least two hooks in the required size.
Rule #7: No coffee within 10 feet of yarn, projects, patterns or critical paperwork.
Rule #8: Block that puppy.
Rule #9: If the hook is not moving easily and smoothly in and out of the stitches, you are crocheting too tightly. Relax.
Rule #10: If it hurts, stop.
Rule #11: Check your work. Often.
Rule #12: Seam crochet only when absolutely unavoidable.
Rule #13: Cut yarn only when absolutely unavoidable (see special circumstance Rule #19).
Rule #14: The private should look as good as the public.
Rule #15: Whenever doable, obtain twice as much yarn as you think the project will require (a corollary to Rule #4).
Rule #16: There is no right way or wrong way, but there is the way to get the same results as shown.
Rule #17: Listen to the yarn.
Rule #18: Yarn sometimes lies.
Rule #19: Exterminate all knots and wonky sections as they arise from a skein.
Rule #20: UFOs that have not spoken to you for more than a year may be considered stash in pre-crocheted form.
Rule #21: Read the fracking pattern.
Rule #22: The pattern could be wrong.
Rule #23: Get it when you see it because when you come back next time it might not be there (another corollary to Rule #4).
Rule #24: Life is too short to mess with indifferent yarn.
Rule #25: Sweat the details.
Rule #26: Crochet is not dumb and neither are crocheters.
Rule #27: Knitting is not the enemy.
Rule #28: Anyone who doesn’t get Rule #26 is the enemy.
Rule #29: Pay attention to the information on the yarn label.
Rule #30: Yarn labels sometimes lie.
Rule #31: The sworn enemy of crochet, eclipsing all others for viciousness and cruelty (including coffee, hot irons and the CEO of the US division of Clover), is Velcro.
Rule #32: Have dessert first. Dessert while crocheting never works out too well (a sort of sidebar to Rule #7).