Check Your Geek

***The following, although promising at the start, quickly devolves into a non-crochet, totally smug and self-indulgent trivial pursuit, and is a strictly temporary aberration.  Meaty crochet stuff should continue to appear here in future, unless I decide otherwise.***

Avid crocheters may have experienced the Zen of crochet.  This is the state of mind, or lack of mind, often a place of blissful calm, that you can achieve once you stop thinking about your crochet and just do it.  When the physical work being done by your hands, the rhythmically repetitive action of creating row upon row of crochet stitches, becomes smooth, hypnotic, automatic, your higher brain functions are freed up to think about other things, to dream, to foster creativity…. and to watch TV.

I am at a peculiar stage of my current crochet project where I’m doing the same thing over and over to the point where it’s not terribly interesting. To help me through this mind-numbing task I have been catching up with some of my favorite programs and films, stuff I’ve possibly viewed before but don’t recall in detail, stuff I missed, vintage stuff I’ve finally been able to find.  Through the miracle of modern technology (downloading and streaming) I can now wallow in programming that was previously unobtainable.  I wish I could report that my recent viewing has been high-brow, intellectually stimulating, uplifting, enlightening.  Not.  My taste runs to terminally geeky, sci-fi and fantasy shows, the sort of fare obsessed over by the guys on The Big Bang Theory.

To those detractors who are quick to label my shows as stupid, time-wasting, time-sucking vices, let me say I have no defense.  Geeky fan-girl that I am, I just love this stuff.  From the Star-cana major, the seminal star-triumvirate of Star Wars, Star Trek and StarGate, to the British import Doctor Who (classic and new series) and it’s darker spin-off Torchwood, to the deeper cuts, the cult programs from Farscape to Firefly, Babylon 5 to Blakes 7, I geek-speak them all.  Do you?

Here’s a little pop-quiz to check your geek. The points, although nice to score, mean nothing. No fair web-searching. Either you’ve been there… or you’re about to run screaming from this page.

#1 We’ll start off easy.  Give yourself five points for each of these alien species you can identify by their respective works of science fiction/fantasy:

a) Ferengi; b) Foamasi; c) Nebari; d) Minbari

Add 10 points if you know which species lives by the Rules of Acquisition. 

50 bonus points if you can quote any one of the rules (of which there are 285).

#2 Give yourself 10 points for each of these villains or seriously unpleasant characters by their respective yadda yadda:

a) Scorpius; b) Boba Fett; c) Davros; d) Servalan; e) Adria

#3 Score 10 points for each of these space-faring ships you can identify by their respective yaddayadda:

a) Heart of Gold; b) Moya; c) Liberator; d) Protector; e) Excalibur; f) Serenity

#4 Gain 15 points for each of these destinations, planetary or otherwise you can yaddayadda:

a) Chulak; b) Coruscant; c) Cygnus Alpha; d) Bajor; e) Delvia; f) Raxacoricofallapatorius;

#5 Gain 15 points for each of these geek-tech devices you can yaddayadda:

a) Sonic screwdriver, b) Zat; c) DRD; d) infinite improbability drive; e) vortex manipulator; f) Orac

#6 Score 15 points for each of these substances yaddayadda:

a) naquadah; b) spice/melange; c) shakan oil; d) latinum; e) retcon; f) pangalacticgargleblaster

Add 25 points if you know which comes from tannot root.

#7 Rack up 20 points for each of these phrases, terms or refs yaddayadda:

a) qapla; b) klaatu barada nicto; c) wibbly wobbly timey wimey; d) hezmana; e) never give up, never surrender!

#8 Dig a little deeper and score 25 points for each of these alien species yaddayadda:

a) Talosians; b) Toclafane; c) Tok’ra; d) Tollan

Add 25 points if you know which one is actually us.

#9 Dig a lot deeper and score 42 points for each of these alien species yaddayadda:

a) Vogans; b) Vogons; c) Vorgons; d) Vorlons; e) Vorlians

50 bonus points if you know which has the worst poetry.

#10 Trick Question: Do you remember the Silence?

Give yourself 5 points if your answer is yes.

Give yourself 50 points if your answer is no because you realize that nobody can remember the Silence.

#11 Score a whopping 100 points if you own or have considered owning any of the following:

a) any model of USS Enterprise, any generation; b) a dematerializing TARDIS mug; c) a light saber, or better two light sabers; d) a Borg cube Christmas tree ornament; e) the full technical specs for any space ship or other vehicle or orbiting station; f) a Klingon dictionary

#12 Check your T-shirt. If any geeky logo or phrase is  emblazoned across your chest right this very moment, give yourself a a bazillion points, for example:

a) Keep Calm and Don’t Blink; b) Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal; c) May fortune guide your journey; d) Resistance is futile; e) Exterminate!; f) rock-paper-scissor-lizard-spock

Congratulations for making it to the end of this little exercise. Check your geek. If you have scored zero points, please come back to this blog at such time when I am not geeking out and you will be more entertained by future crochet talk. If you have scored any points at all, then welcome and thanks for all the fish.  If you have scored, like, a million thousand points then you win and we are on the same page. And, I realize this is a futile gesture, but I am advising everyone to please refrain from posting comments that contain clues or answers.  SPOILERS!

28 thoughts on “Check Your Geek

    • I can’t read while I crochet, not being quite that talented, therefore I limited the quiz to the universes on TV… in particular to the stuff I’ve been viewing in the past couple of weeks. You grok my meaning?

      And if I did wander into sci-fi/fantasy lit, I’d still be writing the quiz, there’s just so much material I love. :-)

  1. Thanks for a wonderful post! I/We own an Enterprise or two, love to read horrible poetry, have a Klingon dictionary, and have 4 light sabers on order (due to arrive next week to use with the Wii). My score was around 300 because I do not partake in all the geeky shows. At least it wasn’t 42 because then I’d know everything!

  2. loved this post Doris… I love your blog all the time, but I can relate to quite a few of these… a HUGE Big Bang fans myself! thanks for a great way to start my day!

  3. LOL, I scored 876 points and the only reason it wasn’t higher is because I have have enough coffee yet. Live long and prosper!
    BTW, according to my Klingon dictionary, qapla’ should have an apostrophe at the end of the word.

  4. From Serenity to Firefly (got the DVDs), Babylon 5 (brings back memories), various Star Treks (we had almost the whole of Next Generation on VHS as well as Deep Space Nine) and Stargate. I think we have Farscape on DVD (maybe it started on VHS). Did not keep track of my score – not as much as those before me as it’s been so long since I’ve watched any of them, though I’m sure we have an Enterprise in one form or another in a box somewhere (not much time for TV these days even though I’m a SAHM or time for crochet for that matter). What a lovely way to start the day by remembering some of these great shows. Thank you.

  5. Doris, I just have to share how your post resulted in my computer being taken over by my kids this morning! I haven’t even had a chance to finish reading it all!

    I turn on my computer every morning at the dining room table and then get started on breakfast and packing everyone’s lunches. Between tasks, I check email, delete junk, etc.. It’s part of my wake-up routine.

    Only today my daughter noticed your post in my inbox and started paging through it. Which (of course) resulted in my son deciding he had to see too.

    Obviously we are a SciFi lovin’ family. And SCORE! Dear hubby bought the entire series of Far Scape for me for Valentines, which we started watching last night! The kids were babies when it first came out, but they still remember some of the characters later on in the series. They were so proud of themselves this morning to recognize the FS references in your post! ;)

    Thanks for spreading the geeky joy! ;)

  6. Hi! We own TWO Enterprises. One of which makes sounds, but every system is failing. I should be able to quote a Rule of Acquisition, but I haven’t seen that show (trying to avoid spoiling answers) in a while. We’ll get there though. Our current quest is to take our son (11) through the Star Trek Rite of Passage- watching All the Star Trek There Is. (Don’t laugh, we’ve made it through the Original series and 6 movies and are currently halfway through the third season of TNG.) We had to take a break though and show our girls (6 & 8) Star Wars because they got to fight Darth Vader when we went to Disney last month. They rocked it.

    Dr. Who is on my list, which is very long and has a lot of anime in addition to the sci-fi and fantasy. If I specialized more, I’d probably score higher on this quiz. :)

    By the way, I haven’t seen Big Bang Theory or Community but my impression of them is that while BBT will make fun of/with the geek culture Community tends toward celebrating it. I say you shouldn’t feel apologetic for liking sci-fi, there’s usually more going on in a sci-fi show than “normal” TV fare.

  7. I love it that so many crocheters are also sci-fi/fantasy fans. Sometimes it feels lonely out here in space where noone can hear you crochet. LOL

  8. My score is miserably low, but it’s not because I don’t love that stuff. My tv/movie watching time is just really limited these days, and alas, I’ve forgotten a lot of the trivia I knew years ago. Tom Baker rocked Dr. Who like nobody else. Does my “Y2 que?” t-shirt count? Not sci-fi, but pretty geeky!

  9. I’m making a list right now, as I have lots of crocheting to do! Since I’ve been busy raising my young(er) kids, I have several Drs. Who to catch up on, not to mention several shows I’ve never seen! Wow! You totally out-geeked me, and I am taking up the challenge, starting with a complete review of B5! Thanks so much! Loved the post! lol
    You are not alone…

  10. I helped a friend select a Christmas present for my daughter – a tee shirt with the Tardis and a funny Dr quote, I gave myself 5 points for being a Geeky Mom. That still didn’t give me a very high score, but it was fun. I like that #9 scores 42 points!

  11. I can understand your multitasking TV choices even if I don’t agree with your choices. I began crafting constantly when my pain threshold increased due being unable to stand the pain unless sitting in my lift chair with the legs up. I found that multitasking kept my mind occupied so that I concentrated less on the pain so that I could convince myself the pain was less.

    My first choice of crafting has always been crochet. However even crochet eventually became a problem due to the repetative motions unless I was crocheting a pattern which changed stitches regularly. I also found that if my hands started to hurt…that changing to a different craft for an hour or so helped and then I could go back to my beloved crochet.

    Not only are many of your patterns beautiful, but they often use a mixture of stitches. I believe you deserve a lot of credit for the changes in crochet in recent years. Your lacey look has obviously inspired other designers due to your success.

    Although I rarely watch sci-fi during my multitasking, I appreciate your stating that you also multitask while crafting. I suspect there are many of us out here doing the same. BTW there are many sci-fi shows and films on Netflix. These days it is very cheap to access them on television and computers.

    Keep those notes coming. I really enjoy reading your thoughts and ideas.

  12. I loved this post, though it’s clear you out-geek me, and my whole family thinks I’m Queen Geek. I doubt that many would think I’m in the demographic for SF/Fantasy fare, but I’ve been consuming in in one form or another for 60+ years — I was a precocious reader (Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Hans Christian Anderson, etc), but my Mom had nothing against comic books and my first favorite super hero was Wonder Woman. I read and watch many genres, but SF/Fantasy will always top my list. Oh yeah — I also crochet. A lot. I actually met you at a CGOA conference a few years back.

    • Hey Cassie,

      It’s not that I’m a bigger geek than anyone else, it’s about specialization, targeting and focusing your geekiness. We can’t be into every area of a genre; one lifetime is not enough to obsess over it all. And don’t underestimate the advantages of demographic maturity; we’ve been at it longer and that gives us an advantage over the kids, really.

      We all have our geek comfort zones. I am not into graphic novels, comics, gaming or superheros, for example. As for books, I can hold my own with the works of certain authors, but don’t claim to go as deep with literature as with the visual media, TV and film, not having figured out how crochet and read a book at the same time. You say Wonder Woman, I say Xena Warrior Princess. :-)

      Yours,

      Doris

  13. This was fun! I just put the Farscape series in my Amazon shopping cart – I loved that show when it aired! Thanks for the crochet diversion! Scifi is my favorite thing to watch when I’m working on a project, though lately I’ve found audio books to be good for when I need to keep my eye on my work.

  14. I have described myself as a geek before. How about my son was so used to seeing aliens from all the sci-fi his parents watched, that when I told him that my mother was an alien (she’s from the Phillipines and never naturalized), he got really wide-eyed and scared-looking. I was racking my brain as to why he was so scared – oh, he thinks she is from outer space! I still laugh at him for this and that was over 20 years ago and he is 30 now. Thanks for the memory. Love your crochet patterns. My 28 y-o daughter is getting ready to start one of your designs but I might beat her to it.

  15. I know I’m quite late to this party, but I just had to leave a message. Geeks unite! Seriously, though, I’ve been totally inspired by your approach to crochet, by your designs, and now by your blog & writing, and then I come to this! Ha. I always thought my love of handwork was more of a nerdy thing than a domestic thing (and what are these probably false distinctions and stereotypes anyway?) Thanks for the fun, Doris!

  16. I’m going to outgeek myself, but #8 and it’s “bonus” are both technically trick questions since the Toclafane weren’t actually real to begin with. It was just a name from an old Gallifreyan scary story that was used specifically in that instance by The Master to freak out The Doctor.

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